Hello, my name is David Conde and I am a 28-year-old. I have always been self-conscious about what others thought of me, I had a wrong idea about what authority really meant, and I did not value my family... I used to think like this until a few years ago, when everything began to change... I would like to tell you how my life has changed, how I was able to overcome many of my fears and the way I used to see everything around me has changed.
I will start at the very beginning. I was born in Pontedeume, a small town in Galicia. My memories up until I was 7 years old are quite diffuse. I do remember that around this time my parents got divorced. The memories that I have from that time are mostly violent episodes at home, arguments and little love between my parents. However, I remember that my father and my mother loved me, and that they both tried to give me the best they could. I don't remember lacking anything. Immediately my mother began a new relationship with another man, who will have an important weight in my life, since my biological father's relationship with me deteriorated very, very quickly. In my mother's new partner I immediately found a renewed father's authority. I didn't know it then, but at this moment a key piece in my personal development fell into place without which I would not be the same.
Years passed, and when I was about 13 years old my mother married this man whom I already considered my father. They both accepted Christ as their savior and and a while later my little sister was born. There were a lot of changes during this time and we also moved to another town, Sada, which meant new schools, new classmates, etc. It was very difficult for me to make new friends in high school, because I felt very intimidated by what others thought of me, and their criticism was very painful.
Since I feared what others thought of me I acted differently depending on who I was with. At home I behave one way, with teachers and schoolmates another, and at church in a totally different one. I had not developed my own personality because who I was, was in fact determined by who I was with.
Since my parents became believers we began to attend the evangelical church. I have always believed in God and I have gone to church since I was little. I did my first communion and I had helped the priest as an altar boy. But I was used to the Catholic church schedule which lasted half an hour and we started to spent most of the weekend at church. I was 14 years old and I had to go where my parents went so I used to argue with my parents at home because of this since I felt that I was wasting the weekend and I didn't have enough time to do what I like most, which was to play video games.
Time went by and I went to a summer camp in Eibar organized by the church in Pamplona. At that camp God touched my heart and I accepted Christ as my savior when I felt his love for me. It was amazing to see so many teenagers worshiping God, and I wanted that for myself as well. In 2009, when I got home from that camp, I decided to get baptized and became a son who would always love and obey his parents. But, I had not developed a personal relationship with God and so my old character showed up and it made me forget all that I had promised God.
I continue with my studies in high school and, as it's logical, the studies got more and more complicated. I didn't want to sacrifice my time playing video games to study so I started failing some subjects and my parents got worried and took the appropriate measures. They would take away the video games, television, and even the computer... Up until then I don't remember big arguments at home, but from that moment on I learned to use physical and verbal violence towards my parents as my main weapon. I felt that my parents did not love me and that they only wanted me to be miserable at home. I was punished day after day, which led me to make lies about failing exams trying to avoid punishments. My parents lost all their trust in me and they started to communicate directly with my teachers. I felt completely despised because the only thing I wanted was to do my own will, I was not willing to waste time doing what others wanted me to.
Time went by and when I was 18 I met a girl. I wanted to start a relationship with her, but my parents didn't think it was the right time. This caused more violent arguments with them. I didn't feel loved at home and I knew that I was hurting my parents, and in my heart I knew I didn't want to hurt them. I didn't want to cause any more harm to my family. I had tried to change without asking for help of any kind, in my own strength, but it was impossible.
Things got so out of hand that by the time I was 19 I drop out of college and ran away to Madrid without saying anything to anyone. My parents, in a moment of desperation, agreed to let me start a relationship with this girl if I decided to return home. From then on I was happy. The violent arguments at home were over. They let me do what I wanted. I went back to college and that year I didn't pass any of my 10 classes.
In 2013 when I was 20 years old I went to another summer camp in Huesca. In this camp God touched my heart again and allowed me to realized that even though I was happy with what I had achieved, I had done many things wrong and God was very offended by my behavior. I remember that I felt God's compassion in my life and realized that I had another opportunity to do everything right. This led me to regret everything I had done wrong. I could see how I had manipulated my parents and all the damage I had done to everyone who really loved me. I had become a very selfish person, who prioritized his happiness even if that meant that others had to sacrifice theirs. My heart was deeply hurt by all I had done wrong and I could see that it was time to repair the damage caused.
Ese mismo año, al volver del campamento tome 3 decisiones. Primero, volver a centrarme en hacer la voluntad de Dios y no solo la mía. Segundo, decidí dejar la relación que había empezado con aquella chica. Y tercero, ir al centro de rehabilitación Vida Nueva en Navarra.
Estas 3 decisiones, hasta entonces, han sido las únicas acertadas que había tomado. Ya que he podido ver cómo han sido respaldadas por Dios en los siguientes años.
Una vez en el Centro Vida Nueva, empezó el verdadero cambio en mi carácter y mi forma de ver las cosas. Reaprendí muchas de las cosas más básicas, como dar las gracias y pedir permiso para todo.
Los primeros años en Vida Nueva, la verdad que fueron muy fáciles, no me costaba nada obedecer en cada tarea que me pedían hacer, la convivencia con los demás chicos y responsables era excelente. El problema empezaba que cuando volvía a casa no obedecía a mis padres con el mismo gusto, de hecho, al principio prefería estar en Vida Nueva que ir a casa de vacaciones porque me resultaba más fácil.
Entonces me di cuenta que en Vida Nueva no me costaba obedecer porque estaba centrado en que la opinión que tenían los chicos y los responsables de mi fuese buena, pero me daba igual la opinión que mis padres tenían de mi porque ellos ya conocían mi yo más oscuro y no respetaba su autoridad. En definitiva, mis mejores palabras siempre eran para los desconocidos y las peores para quienes más me amaban.
Los siguientes años estando en Vida Nueva hasta la actualidad fueron más diferentes. Los responsables me abrieron los ojos y me dejaron ver que en realidad no tenía un problema solo con mis padres, si no con la autoridad en general. No respetaba a la autoridad si esta no tenía algo a cambio para darme en mi beneficio. Entonces decidí devolver la autoridad que les había quitado a mis padres sobre mí. Rehacer lo que había hecho mal con ellos y pedirles perdón por todo el daño que les había hecho. Entonces, la relación con mis padres cambio por completo. Hoy puedo amarlos y cuando me equivoco, reconocerlo, arrepentirme y restaurar el daño causado. Ahora, cada día que puedo pasar con mis padres me siento realmente muy amado, puedo obedecerles con más libertad. Ya veo que todas las decisiones que ellos tomaron cuando era adolescente eran por mi bien, porque ellos verdaderamente me amaban.
Mientras estaba en Vida Nueva Dios ha obrado en mi vida de una forma sobrenatural. Ha restaurado la relación con mi padre biológico y ahora lo veo con mucha más frecuencia que antes. Me ha permitido, después de venir de unos años académicamente desastrosos, graduarme en electrónica con media de sobresaliente por la gracia de Dios, ya que nunca en mi vida había sacado sobresalientes. Ya no me preocupa lo que piensen los demás de mi cuando estoy haciendo lo que agrada a Dios. También me han enseñado a trabajar y ser responsable con las tareas que mis autoridades me delegan y no pensar solo en el beneficio que obtengo al hacerlas. En Vida Nueva me enseñaron a que se puede ser feliz recibiendo de los demás, sí, pero lo mejor es poder dar y no solo recibir, aprendí a sacrificar mi bienestar por hacer un poco más felices a los demás, a descentrarme de mi mismo, levantar la mirada y ver las necesidades de las personas que me rodean.
Estoy profundamente agradecido a Dios, a mis padres y cada uno de los responsables del centro Vida Nueva por toda la paciencia, misericordia y amor que han tenido conmigo.
Todo esto no ha sido posible porque yo fuese capaz, he necesitado mucha ayuda y ánimo, no ha sido fácil reconocer mis errores más graves y mucho menos corregirlos. De hecho, para mí ha sido imposible, he necesitado toda la ayuda posible.
¡Gracias Dios porque tú y yo sabemos que todo esto ha sido posible gracias a ti!
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