My name is Josué Puma, I was born in Peru, in a very dysfunctional family. I have spent my whole life trying to fill the void that my parents left in me. This lack of love led me to try everything this world can offer and to develop very damaging habits until God had mercy on me and set me free.
To give a full perspective about what I’ve gone through, I am going to start by sharing my childhood experience. My earliest memories do not reflect a typical childhood. As long as I can remember, there were always arguments at home and fights between my parents. There was a clear lack of authority within our household, which made me lose respect towards my parents from a very early age. I remember wondering if I should respect my mother since my father didn’t do it himself.
Up until I was 6 years old, I remember constantly fighting with my older sister, whom I had no respect for. I was always away from home because I would rather be on the streets than with my parents, who surely loved me very much but didn't show it. After I turned 6 the need for my parents' love increased and I tried to get their attention in many ways, but they were hardly ever at home. I saw my father once a month and my mother was working all day; You could say that I grew up with my sister.
That year my parents separated, it was not a very hard blow for me because I almost never saw them together. From then on my attitude began to change; My defiance towards authority grew inside of me. At home I did not agree with what my parents told me, and at school I was always in trouble because I liked to attract attention which got me into fights with other students. I had to change schools every 6 months because nobody could put up with me.
When I was 7 years old my mother went to live in Spain. I remember how painful it was because it felt as if she had abandoned us and it had a very negative impact on me. I went to live with my father, who was working all day, and my sister spent most of the time with her friends so I tried to go by on my own. I remember that at the age of 12 I began to have all kinds of relationships. My mind was perverted in such a way that I could no longer see anyone with clean eyes; pornography became an addiction at a very young age. At the age of 13 I started smoking and at 16 I started drinking. Things were not going well in high school and I began to experience a serious school failure. I managed to go by because my father had some connections and also because I paid some of my classmates to do my homework and let me copy during exams.
At this point I felt that I had hit rock bottom since I thought my life was not worth living, "If this is life, I don't want to continue with it." I thought about committing suicide since I couldn't find a way out. No one could stand being by my side anymore because of my selfish and manipulative attitude.
Around this time, my mother called me from Spain and mentioned the possibility of living with her in a rehabilitation center in Navarra. She knew about my circumstances and I wanted to try something new, even without knowing God. I was 17 years old and I wanted a change, so I decided to move to Spain and go with her.. My admission to the center was quick "Thank God" but I immediately clashed with the norms. I had never worked before in my life, and I had never submitted to an authority or talked to anyone about what was inside of me. My pride did not let me recognize my real problem, and I thought that giving up drugs and alcohol was enough, but that was not the solution. I was not able to open my heart, and I couldn't sleep at night because of everything that I had inside of me.
The change was quite a process, but I remember a word the pastor said to me: “Give up, don't fight with those who want to help you”. Since then, I began to obey little by little. I learned to be transparent, to confess my sins, to open my heart to those who wanted to help me, and I learned to submit to my authorities. The relationship with my father was improving a lot. God gave me his grace to be able to study and become a reference in my high school. I know all of these it's by his grace because I was a failure as a student. I was also given the opportunity to work for a company that inexplicably hired me, even knowing how clumsy I am and that I was learning to work. The ties to pornography and lasciviousness gradually vanished from my life, through obedience and because I believed with all my strength that God could set me free from any ties. And I stopped looking for the love that I had sought for so long, because from the moment I stepped foot on Vida Nueva I felt loved.
It is true that I still have a lot to change, but now I can say that I am not the person I described at the beginning of this testimony, God has given me a new life.
At this point I felt that I had hit rock bottom since I thought my life was not worth living, "If this is life, I don't want to continue with it." I thought about committing suicide since I couldn't find a way out. No one could stand being by my side anymore because of my selfish and manipulative attitude.
Around this time, my mother called me from Spain and mentioned the possibility of living with her in a rehabilitation center in Navarra. She knew about my circumstances and I wanted to try something new, even without knowing God. I was 17 years old and I wanted a change, so I decided to move to Spain and go with her.. My admission to the center was quick "Thank God" but I immediately clashed with the norms. I had never worked before in my life, and I had never submitted to an authority or talked to anyone about what was inside of me. My pride did not let me recognize my real problem, and I thought that giving up drugs and alcohol was enough, but that was not the solution. I was not able to open my heart, and I couldn't sleep at night because of everything that I had inside of me.
The change was quite a process, but I remember a word the pastor said to me: “Give up, don't fight with those who want to help you”. Since then, I began to obey little by little. I learned to be transparent, to confess my sins, to open my heart to those who wanted to help me, and I learned to submit to my authorities. The relationship with my father was improving a lot. God gave me his grace to be able to study and become a reference in my high school. I know all of these it's by his grace because I was a failure as a student. I was also given the opportunity to work for a company that inexplicably hired me, even knowing how clumsy I am and that I was learning to work. The ties to pornography and lasciviousness gradually vanished from my life, through obedience and because I believed with all my strength that God could set me free from any ties. And I stopped looking for the love that I had sought for so long, because from the moment I stepped foot on Vida Nueva I felt loved.
It is true that I still have a lot to change, but now I can say that I am not the person I described at the beginning of this testimony, God has given me a new life.
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